Nigeria

Nigeria…

So before we left we heard that our trip will once again be altered. We now cannot go north because the week before, there were 27 killings, Churches getting bomb and just civil unrest. We crossed the border and it only took a few hours. We had a pastor with us who we met in Benin. This pastor helped Cicilie get a visa. The day we were supposed to leave for Nigeria Cecilie found out that she was issued the wrong visa. It took 2 days but she was able to get one with the help of Emanuel (the pastor) he gave a letter of invitation.

The border crossing wasn’t that bad. It took about two hours. While we were filling out paperwork a truck hit Rosie (she didn’t get any serious damage) the truck just hit our spare wheel. Once on the road we took off for about 2 hours. We stopped on the side of the road and this is where shit started to hit the fan. Out of nowhere 2 guys got out of a car and started demanding money. They were shouting at Emanuel trying to get into the vehicle. After I got done pissing I ran to my bag and grabbed my SOG seal pup knife and unsheathed it. I kept it down to my side. Once everyone got on Rosie one of the guys came running towards Suse and looked like he was going to hit her. I kept the door open ready to attack if I needed to. Everyone started yelling at me to put the knife away. I told them all to shut the fuck up and let me back up Suse. I saw her look at me so she knew I was there. After a while Suse got into Rosie and took off leaving both men behind. The men flagged down a vehicle and drove in front of us to the closest town. They got out of the vehicle screaming demanding something (my guess is money). They ended up causing a road block and within a matter of minutes we had 50 guys all around us. I thought instantly of being ambushed. Luckily one unknown guy witnessed everything and flagged down a local police officer to help out. It turned out he was an off duty military person. About 5 minutes later Suse was driving to Abeokuta. We arrived in the evening at the golf club where we set up camp for the night. We were all on edge and Suse just informed us that it was some guy who was just pissed drunk trying to show off in front of his friends. I didn’t believe that for one moment but I kept my mouth shut. Later that evening after a few beers with Suse I informed her that I had grabbed my knife, and a few people thought I could have put them in jeopardy because of my actions. I also told her I thought they were profession thieves. Suse pulled me aside and told me she knew I grabbed the knife and had her back, and she trust my judgment. Also that these guys were thieves but she didn’t want the rest of everyone to know because she didn’t want one dudes actions to ruin their opinion of Nigeria and the people.

The next day was Sarah birthday and Emanuel had set up a driver to Lagos (the biggest city in Africa) Our plan was to drive into the city and get dropped off, then eat dinner in the evening and then come home. Well we were all excited and crammed into a minivan. This day turned out to be completely disastrous and not like anything we wanted or expected. We spent all day driving around and after begging from Suse we stopped at the market and got an hour at the market. Then we drove another 2 hours to Emanuel house. By this time it is 4:30 and besides an hour for lunch and an hour at the market we spent all day cramped in the van. We were all hot, sweaty, and upset. We all felt so bad for Sarah, who just wanted a nice dinner, and a fun time in the city. The driver was told only 4 hours of driving and for some reason Emanuel had other ideas for us. We ended up driving to Abeokuta and finding a Chinese restaurant that screwed up my order (this seems like a regular thing now days for me) I felt really bad for Sarah who kept apologizing to all of us. After dinner we waited an hour for taxis who never showed up. We ended up asking around and getting locals to take us to the Golf Club.

The next morning Suse, Nico and I splurged and hit 18 holes of golf. It was kinda of expensive, but so much fun. I had a caddy, and a decent set of clubs. The course was a shithole but you could tell they were trying. The greens and the fairways were like our rough at home. I had a really good time. We left at 1:30 and took off towards Oshogbo. We arrived about the usual time around 6. We arrived at the most random craziest place ever. We stayed at a guy named Okonfo house. It is called African Communication Center. This guy was around 60 and probably a few fries short of a happy meal. His house was on this dirt road about 5km from the main town. His family has been there for generations and everyone called him father Okonfo and would do a small bow. We stayed there two nights and both nights we had live drumming and dancing. It was so random and a lot of fun.

The next day we drove all day, it was a normal traveling day. Cards, lunch, cards, reading, and napping. We free camped right outside a village who has never seen white people. Nico and Suse had to ask all the elders permission to spend the night there. That night we had many visitors from the town. Only one person spoke English, and everyone else just watched us.

The next day myself and Jareb road upfront and we had somewhat of a long day. We were going to drive as far as we could. We either had one free camp or two to get to Calabar. Just as we entered Benin City we got stopped by 3 guys wearing regular clothes and a 2X4 with nails on it. They demanded a 10,000 Niras to enter the city for all trucks. We told them to see the receipt and they refused. At this time two trucks drove by and slowed down and gave them 100 Nira. We told them there was no way we were going to pay 10,000 when everyone else is paying 100. They made up some excuse that they would receive the rest of the money on the way back. Suse being Suse refused to pay and the guys being guys refused to let us pass. This lasted a good hour maybe an hour and a half. They guys kept telling us they were going to get off at 5 and we would have to spend the night we told them no problem. Then they insulted Suse about showing her a good time. Suse did a fantastic job of acting saying “how she has never been treated so bad before (yeah rightJ)” After an hour of the Mexican standoff, we remembered them wanted us to move over off the road. So we thought let’s move to the middle of the road. Once we did we stopped all moving traffic, and the first Infinity SUV stopped and told us we were free to go. Mission success! We free camped that night at a school that was being built. Two local guys stayed at the school (the owner and the builder) they got stoned all night. Not only was it a muddy mess but it smelled like skunk from the weed.

The next day it was a short day while we drove into Calabar. Suse got extremely sick, and spent the previous night with a fever, and hot and cold chills. We arrived at Calabar and stayed at the paradise hotel. This was no way a paradise. It looked like something from a horror movie. It was built in the 80’s and its owner died a short time after it was open. No one has touched a thing on it, and everything is so run down. We spent a total of 4 nights here, originally it was only supposed to be two days but it turned out that Suse has Cholera, and Typhoid. The second and third day at Calabar I spent at the Drill ranch animal re-habitation center. They had 3 chimpanzees and about 60 Drill monkeys. Drill monkeys are the monkeys that have rainbow butts. The alpha male has the brightest butt and once he loses his alpha status his butt colors fade and the new alpha take over. The drill ranch also has another place in the Afi Mountains which we are going to see after we leave Calabar.  The second day I decided to go and get tested for malaria to see if it's gone. I got tested and found out that I am malaria free but I now have typhoid… WTF eh? They gave me this medicine that clears everything from typhoid to the clap.

We left Calabar and Suse was feeling a little better not great. She said this is the sickest she has ever been in her entire life. She thinks she picked it up from Okonfo house. The first night he gave her a homemade drink which she was the only one who drank from it. We drove most of the day to a turn off to Drill ranch. We only made it about 1km when the road was impassable. Our original plan was to spend two nights up there then head to Cameroon. While we were parked on a muddy hill, Rosie decided to die again (fuel filter). An hour and a half later we were reversing down the muddy hill. We decided to find a free camp spot then have drill ranch pick us up at 0900 the next morning. We found a free camp with no problems and at 0920 the next morning all 14 of us were crammed like sardines on a back of a range rover truck. By the time we made it up the mountain which is 12km of the worst muddy roads I have ever seen my back was seizing but I was able to stretch it out. We first took a walk around the sanctuary which was like the one we saw in Calabar but 1000X bigger. Each drill monkey family had 30 acres of free roaming. When we got to the chimps we all stayed there in complete awe looking at the size of the Alpha male, and 8 other chimps. What was really cool about this place was they combined species of chimps, and there is a total of 30 in this lot of land. There was a female chimp named Jackie who I fell in love with. She was the class clown of the chimp park. She would make noises, do push-ups, and make hand jesters. While I was watching her in awe (5 feet away), another chimp I didn’t get his name threw a stone at me and nailed my arm. They he had the audacity to laugh at me… I kept the stone for good luck.

After we walked around the sanctuary, we walked on another canopy walk (it wasn’t too special, but Ryse, Cecilie, Nico, and Toby decided to time ourselves running on the small walkway 100ft high). After the canopy walk we hiked 30 minutes through the jungle to an absolutely stunning river with a very small 5 foot waterfall, but there was a swimming hole that was so refreshing. The water was so clear, and beautiful. Once we finished swimming, we piled into the trucks again and drove back. About 6km back I realized that I left the bag of wet swimming shorts on the table. This is an ongoing theme in my life. The bag not only had my shorts, but Ryse and Toby’s. I stopped the land rover and paid a bike to take me back to the ranch, then 12km to where the truck was. It was the worst drive in my entire life. I sat on a wooden piece of wood on the back of the shittiest bike ever, while a local guy (who was cross eyed) speed way to fast up and down muddy roads. Not to mention we broke down 3 times on the way there. After an hour I made it back safe to Rosie, with the bag of shorts and 1000 Nira less then when I got on the land rover… That night we free camped at the same place we did the night before…

The next morning we got an early start, and we were going to cross in to Cameroon. Suse said the last time she took this road, it was dry season and it was the worst 80km of driving she had ever drove in. Let me remind you that it has stormed every day and night for the last 3 weeks… We are officially in the wet season. She said there are ruts the size of trucks. That one truck gets stuck while another truck pulls you out.  Then you pull the next truck. We were all a little nervous and excited about what we were about to face. Part of me wanted to be in knee high of mud digging Rosie out…